Meet Jim Moorman, a shining example of all that
is wrong in the universe.
A bear of very little brain, Jim has somehow
managed to adorn the back cover of what might be best described as a very
readable book. Barely literate himself, Jim has beaten all the odds and has
actually managed to string together more than a few coherent sentences. Those
sentences, paragraphs, and pages work to form Jamaican Flowers, Jim's debut
novel.
Jamaican Flowers is a testament to Jim's love of
all things tropical and light-hearted. A former member of the U.S. Navy, he
served as part of the Presidential Ceremonial Guard in Washington D.C. and
spent two years abroad in South Korea. After returning to the states, he
pursued a career in sales and marketing in the technology sector, writing and
scribbling in the evenings and weekends.
He holds no fancy degrees and remains obstinately
determined to master the craft of writing novels, even in spite of suffering
from ADHD. His sarcasm knows no bounds and he maintains that he writes to
inspire and entertain his willing readers. In his spare time, Jim enjoys whistling,
laughing, and just taking it easy. If you can believe it, he's a father and
claims it to be the best job he's ever had.
Follow him on Twitter @jimmoorman
Look for his next release, Rumba Republic, to be
released at the end of 2012 (if we're still here after December 21st.)
And now, here's Jim...
The Art of Reading
Yes,
you read that right. Good job continuing to master the art! Keep going, though.
There’s more mastery to be attained.
You
probably learned to read somewhere around the age of five or six. Words and
sentences became part of your daily existence. Through practice and progress
over time, you eventually became a polished reader. You graduated from See Spot Run, to Judy Blume’s Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. Then
you met Holden Caufield in Salinger’s Catcher
in the Rye before being thrust into the wonderful world of William
Shakespeare. You wrote your book reports and learned about conflict, character,
and plot. Then, ready or not, you were thrust into college or the workforce
and, before you knew it, you became a fully functioning adult.
Now
we’re adults and we still read every day – advertisements, spreadsheets, news
articles, stock tickers, comic strips, and, of course, bills. But what kind of
reader have you become since the high school book reports? Chances are good you
may not even know.
I
hadn’t really given the subject much consideration until I was asked to write
this guest post. I thought about what subject might appeal to a general
readership and then laughed at the idea. I’m a writer. I have the luxury of
knowing that a “general readership” doesn’t exist. Readers are as varied and
wide-ranging as the books and articles that exist to serve and entertain them.
One
important element I’ve come to appreciate about readers is that, no matter
their preference or brow (highbrow or lowbrow), they typically enjoy a good
list. It’s definitive, structured, finite, and bulleted - perfect for the
average human in today’s ADD-laden world.
I’d
love to tell you that the list below represents years of hardened research and
case studies, but it doesn’t. It’s based on my observations, questions I’ve
asked and noted over the years, and my personal experience. While no list is
ever perfect, mine is pretty damn close. Readers typically ascribe to one
primary and one secondary category. I’m an Information Gatherer/Writer Reader.
What type of reader are you?
Reader Categories
- The Information Gatherer
These inquisitive souls can typically be
found perusing Internet or magazine articles, websites, newspapers, brochures,
cereal boxes, labels of varied assortment, cookbooks, racing forms, coupons,
and any other piece of writing that will offer answers to asked (and more
often) unasked questions.
I’m (primarily) an Information Gatherer.
Most of my reading time is spent on articles that will, in some way, answer a
question I didn’t even know I had. What are the five keys to relationship
success? I never would have thought to ask but now I must know. What were those
Japanese Olympians so upset about? There will surely be an article that can
answer my question. I read at least fifteen or more articles every day. Sports
scores and stats, headlines, industry news, and humor columns, and select blogs
are at the top of my list.
Information Gatherers are not adverse to
the occasional novel, but are primarily fulfilled by many tidbits, factoids,
and articles that serve a specific purpose. The writing contains facts, is long
enough to add value, but not so long that it has to be put down and picked back
up at a later time.
In the immortal words of Lt. John Kendrik
(Kieffer Sutherland in A Few Good Men,):
“Lieutenant, I have two books by my bed,
the US Marine Corps handbook and the King James Bible.”
Lt. Kendrik - A classic Information
Gatherer.
- The Casual Reader
These folks are exactly what the name
implies. They may be your significant others who have books on the nightstand
they’ve been reading for three months and are about halfway through. They read
the occasional article and would likely be hard pressed to name their favorite
author. If they do, it’s usually a recognizable name that will pass muster in
social circles like Stephen King or J.K. Rowling. They’ll read a couple books
per year at best and often have to be prodded to do so. Reading for these
people isn’t a big deal. They get their information from television or radio
and are A-OK doing so. For the Casual Reader, life often presents activities
outside the printed page that they would much rather enjoy.
- The Voracious Reader
These readers are the exact opposite of the
Casual Reader. These are the hardcore people who are always reading something
and usually in record time compared to the rest of us. My stepdad and grandma
are Voracious Readers. If I pop in unannounced on either of them, there’s a 90%
chance I’ll catch them engrossed in their latest literary treat.
Typically, Voracious Readers are fans of a
specific genre. Grandma likes romance novels and my stepdad likes crime
mysteries. Once hooked on a genre, the Voracious Reader plows through one book
after another by the same author and then, like a hungry termite, moves on to
the next.
These are the readers who have read enough
to know about the structure of a novel, pace, character development, etc. They
know good writing from bad and will leave reviews. God help the new author who
unknowingly wrongs a Voracious Reader. The Casual Reader will put the book down
and move on. The Voracious Reader finishes a bad book if for no other reason
than to let the author know about it. These readers are what every author hopes
to find and woo but never upset.
Voracious Readers have made reading a
habitual part of their lives and have better brains for it. The late Stephen
Covey said that, “reading is for the mind what running is for the body.”
Voracious Readers certainly have fit minds.
- The Academic
The world of academia is a universe unto
itself. Like a parasite that feeds off a host, so do Academics feed off each
other. Unless you’re part of this universe, you wouldn’t likely know of its
existence. Educators spend their lives in the pursuit of educating themselves
and others. They go from high school to college to a Master’s program to a
Doctorate degree. They pontificate, write theses, dissertate, and receive
meritorious accolades within their universe.
Professors compete for grants to conduct
research and attain greater knowledge in their field. The never-ending quest to become published in
a scholarly periodical becomes their ambition. They compete with each other and
become so filled with knowledge, in fact, they rise above the rest of us mere
mortals and look down with pity.
Their reading is comprised almost entirely
of subject matter papers and the occasional highbrow literary work. Academics
are usually gifted in the art of snobbery and know (and use) more four syllable
words than many of us knew even existed.
- The Literary Snob
A novel like mine would never appeal to
this reader. Literary work is different than genre work in that genre novels
use the same basic plot elements and rely on characters and fresh stories to
exist. A perfect example would be a romantic comedy. Boy meets girl (a
“meet-cute”), boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy makes grand gesture at the end
of the story to win girl’s heart and complete his inner journey and character
arc. Insert funny best friend for both boy and girl who seem way too involved
in our main characters’ lives, and you have a ready-made romantic comedy.
Literary work, on the other hand, is to
fiction what gourmet food is to the discerning palette.
Literary work is often focused around a
character’s inner journey and literary authors often use their stories to
explore life themes and inner struggles that far exceed that of the dime store
detective. Classic tales like Melville’s Moby
Dick or Hemmingway’s The Old Man and
the Sea are classic examples of great American Literature.
Literary Snobs (I’m using the term
affectionately) will swoon over a well-written sentence and bathe in
metaphor-riddled prose the way most of us bathe in sweat on a ninety-degree
day. Literary Snobs tend to be extremely critical of non-literary work and
appear to those in the industry as sort of elitists.
There’s nothing wrong with this group, as
they are typically students of the written word. They are English majors,
Creative Writing majors, and logophiles. Writers wishing to appeal to this
snobby ilk would be well served to make sweet literary love to their work
before sending it of for review by a Literary Snob. Well-scribed, the literary
novel will undoubtedly elicit a word climax from even the most frigid creative
writing grad.
- The Groupie
Groupies are nothing more than Casual Readers
with low self-esteem. These poor souls know how to read but don’t know what to
read. They rely on their friends and popular culture to unearth for them their
next book choice.
How many young girls who read Twilight did so of their own
volition? Twilight, Harry Potter, The
Hunger Games, and Fifty Shades of Grey were all ushered
into the forefront of popularity via the Voracious Reader. The Voracious Reader,
as we know, is a reading machine and banner-carrier for those books they have
discovered, enjoyed, or have connected with in such a profound way they feel
compelled to sing the book’s praises from the hilltops and insist that all of
their friends read and heed their recommendation. This is why, as I stated
earlier, ever author hopes to satisfy the literary craving of the Voracious Reader.
The Groupie reads primarily because they
can’t be left out of the collective conversation. All their friends are talking
about evenings of self-gratification spent mentally copulating with Edward the
vampire. The Groupie simply has to see what all the fuss is about. Only when
the Groupie has offered a tale of intense orgasm to thoughts of Jacob the
werewolf will she be accepted into the readers’ circle.
Groupies are easily identifiable. Should
you ask someone to list the last three books they’ve read and hear three very
popular titles, you’ll have met (and identified) your first Groupie.
- The Voyeur
This class of reader is by and far my least
favorite and most annoying. Voyeurs are the people who keep tabloids in
business.
You can immediately spot a Voyeur when
seemingly ordinary topics of conversation become quickly thwarted into tales of
the latest celebrity gossip. They can’t get enough. They would rather read
about a Hollywood split than a major news story. I’ve also found that Voyeurs
are typically very needy in the attention department, which is likely why they
gravitate toward the drama of Hollywood. Women are more prone to this category
but I know plenty of men as well. Most of the men of this class I know are
political junkies. Washington politics are for men what Hollywood is for women
- dramatic and entertaining. While the Voyeur can and will read the occasional
novel, it’s usually a non-fiction biography.
- The Businessman/woman
These savvy folks have attended a business
seminar or two in their time and have been convinced that most, if not all,
reading must revolve around the never-ending pursuit toward the attainment of
the almighty dollar. Growing, squeezing, pinching, tightening, and managing the
pennies are what this group of readers is all about.
It’s a billion dollar a year business – the
business book business, that is. I made a sale last week in an untraditional
fashion. Read my book and learn how to gain the competitive advantage today.
I jest and exaggerate, but I have nothing
against this group of readers. I’ve read many a business book in my day and, as
an Information Gatherer, I find many to be somewhat helpful. If I have a single
annoyance with this group of readers, it’s that the business folk rarely seem
to entertain the idea of relaxing with a good work of fiction. They see it as
leisure time and a waste. Ironically, it was some wicked smart author who wrote
that concept in a business book somewhere. It makes me think of the old “don’t
watch TV in the dark” adage. Who said it was bad to watch TV in the dark?
Yep, the light bulb people.
9.The Social Media Reader
Until a few years ago, this category didn’t
even exist. Now, we have a society of people who have learned to communicate
(and read) 140 characters at a time. It’s so bad that I see people every day
read nothing but Twitter and Facebook posts.
Sure, it’s still reading, but it’s not
quality. It’s clever, anecdotal, sometimes crass, and chalk-full of acronyms
that I puzzle daily to understand. I was just tweeted the phrase YOLO the other
day and, like an idiot, had to look it up. It means you only live once. It is
now #1 on my most hated list of twitter acronyms. Following closely behind are
ROFLMAO, and LOL.
Once consumed by the social media monster,
these readers are not only less willing to read actual prose, but are becoming
dumber for their effort and activities. Slang, acronyms, and anecdotal wit are
all they read, so they, in essence, train their brains to think in this manner.
While social media connects us all in a way that’s never been done before, the
quality of writing and what we’re consuming in the way of daily writing is the
weakest it’s ever been in our society.
- The Writer Reader
This is a very small group of readers in
the world of which I’m unfortunately a member. As a writer and author, I’m no
longer able to read for pleasure. While I can certainly try, I’m constantly
looking at craft element/style techniques other authors employ as a way to
further their stories and plots. As a student of the craft, my brain is now
trained to study rather than read and it’s often maddening. Without this habit,
however, I would never grow and learn. Therefore, I read a ton of books, often
in my genre, for several chapters before moving on to the next. I have to force
myself to read a book all the way through and not tear it apart or look for
this or that. To the other Writer Readers of the world, I extend to you my
deepest sympathies.
So
there you have it, ten of the most common reader types according to Jim
Moorman. Where do you fall on the list? Will you ever aspire or challenge
yourself to become a Voracious Reader? I can only hope you do. And should you
ever choose to write, know that Mr. Covey says that, “If reading is for the
mind what running is for the body, then writing is for the mind what running a
marathon is for the body.”
When
I was young, my father told my sister, brother, and me to read every day, even
if it’s just the sports page. He knew the importance of reading and its benefit
to keeping our minds sharp. I read to my daughter all the time and work to help
her broaden her vocabulary by sharing several words that convey the same idea.
Reading
is at the heart of what makes us intelligent beings. So, whether you’re a Voyeur, a Casual Reader,
an Information Gatherer like me, or any other type of reader I didn’t
categorize or define, read something every day, even if it’s just the sports
page.
Jamaican Flowers
Sonny Flowers is pure, charming genius when it
comes to biochemistry and genetics - specifically, marijuana and its potential
to make the world a more joyful place, but he still has a lot to learn about
fatherhood, guilt, women, happiness and himself, and very little time to learn
it in. Sonny has already lost one daughter and will lose the other unless he
can win her back - and do it before he literally loses his mind. With the Feds
about to shut down his Stateside marijuana farm and laboratory, Sonny finds
himself in Jamaica working for a self-proclaimed Rastafarian Deity whose wife
has overdosed on the very hybrid plant Sonny and his daughter, Summer, are
struggling to perfect as a cure for what has become a world epidemic: Bipolar
Disorder. A crooked general, determined to make a splash in the world, has
other ideas for the hybrid's properties. Faced with sharks (the salty kind), a
plane crash, a tongueless henchman, the haunting memories of those he's loved
and lost (and why it was probably his fault), not to mention his own blooming
psychosis, Sonny finds help wherever the universe is willing to provide it:
Dehlia Storm, a nineteen-year-old voodoo priestess, and her two-timing
boyfriend, are for some reason willing to help Sonny save the two women he loves.
Time running out, Sonny not only has to decide which characters in this crazy
story he's living he can trust, but also what is real and what decidedly is
not.
